For the longest time I thought my trading fell short because I wasn't trying hard enough.
But I was trying. Studying 2–3 hours a day. Trading 2–3 hours a day. Chasing a deeper understanding of the market every single morning. And I still kept falling short.
Then I watched a video that asked a question I couldn't shake: when we apologize for a mistake, are we apologizing like Judas, or like Peter?
For a second I thought — what is this guy even talking about? But I kept watching, and it hit me hard.
Every time I messed up, I'd pray and tell God, "I'm sorry. I won't let you down again. I'll do better." And that's exactly how Judas apologized — leaning on his own strength. I didn't realize it, but that prayer had quietly become a form of self-worship. It told me I was strong enough to carry this alone, and that every time I fell, the answer was more of me.
That's not biblical at all.
I kept falling short relying on my own strength for one simple reason: I'm too weak to do this on my own. But with God's grace, His power, I'm strong — not because of my ability, but because His power dwells in me.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
And that wrecked me, because for years I'd been stuck in a toxic cycle. Listening to David Goggins every single day. Running over 400 miles a year. Trying to be some modern-day "hardcore" man. Then over the last year I got stuck — I lost my discipline and couldn't figure out how to refind it.
Here's what I finally understand: God allowed me to go through that to develop me — not to teach me to depend on myself. That phase was necessary. But somewhere in it I got confused. I started to believe I was in control. I was constantly at war with my own mind, "overcoming" it on willpower alone, and the only fuel in my tank was me.
So many men and women get trapped in that same cycle — modern "self-improvement" that's really just self-worship and self-reliance. I fell into it too, right up until recently.
So when I tell you that you can't trade alone — it's not because you don't have the ability. It's because you do, but you're pulling your fuel from the wrong source.
A fire with a limited supply of wood will always burn out.
But God's source — His grace, His wisdom, His love — never ends. And through Him, all things are possible.